Ocean jokes

Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?

First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:

"The canons be ready, Captain!"

"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

Because the pond was too shallow.

Which fish is the most famous?

The star fish!

There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

What’s a bird’s favorite movie?

The Parrots of the Caribbean.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.

Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?

Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.

Why did the shark spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.

What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?

"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"

What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.

When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.

The "W" in Africa stands for water.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

Why did I giggle?

Because I saw the ocean's bottom.