Ocean jokes
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
What did one male whale say to the other male whale?
"She's gonna blow!"
What do mermaids put in the salads?
Sea cucumber.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.
Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?
Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Yo forehead so big it receives more than the Pacific Ocean!
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
The Titanic was going through the ocean. Chuck Norris was on the ship, and they never crashed into an iceberg. He just shat off the front of the ship!
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.