Ocean jokes

Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." 💀

British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎

What is a pirate's favorite element?

Argon.

Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.

Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

What do sheep wear to the beach?

A baa-kini.

Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.

Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.

Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."

How do fish get to school?

By the octobus.

Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!

Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

I heard it was because of pier pressure.

Fishermen are the best at networking.

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙

What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?

"Sandy cheeks."

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

What are fish not allowed to have?

Seaweed.

Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

Because the pond was too shallow.

Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?

First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:

"The canons be ready, Captain!"

"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!