Ocean

Ocean jokes

Morbid jokes

23 views ·

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

Spongebob

27 views ·

Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.

Spongebob: 9 letters

Squarepants: 11 letters

Spongebob did 9/11.

Pirate

9 views ·

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

Wave

1 view ·

What did the other wave say to the other wave?

"Nothing, they just waved!"

Carpet

3 views ·

My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"

Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!

Shark

24 views ·

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

Submarine

156 views ·

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

Titanic

4 views ·

What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?

He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.

Spongebob

12 views ·

"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]