Ocean

Ocean jokes

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Morbid jokes

  • Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

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    Wave

  • What did the other wave say to the other wave?

    "Nothing, they just waved!"

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    Carpet

  • My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"

    Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!

    Shark

  • A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

    So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

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    Submarine

  • What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

    They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

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    Titanic

  • What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?

    He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.

    Spongebob

  • "Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

    "Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

    "How much have you found so far?"

    "Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]

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