Ocean jokes
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!
Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.
What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?
A Cake By The Ocean.
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're all shellfish.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
What do you call James, James?
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."