Ocean jokes
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
Nobody: People on the Titanic: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Why don't pirates take a bath before walking the plank?
'Cause they just wash up onshore.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."
What did the fish say to the beach?
"Long tide, no see!"
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
What did the Titanic say while sinking?
"It's going down."