Nut jokes
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
Knock knock.
Me, a person: Who's there?
A: Deez nuts!
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
Hear about the guy who dipped his nuts in glitter?
Pretty nuts!
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Deez nutz!
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.
Nut
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
I love my family.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!