I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
Cashew see I’m nuts about you!?
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
Can I ask you a question? Nut now!
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
