What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Peanut butter 🧈?
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
What is the difference between a human and a can?
A human can walk and a can cannot walk.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.