Nut jokes
Are you going to SHOWCON?
What’s SHOWCON?
Show con these nuts.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...
Account for me too, baby👧! Is so cute together with game slot jokes.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
BofA deez nuts!
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.
I'm bored in class. Anyone wanna chat?
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"