Nut jokes

You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.

Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?

Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.

Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?

Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!

Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.

Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?

Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

Account for me too, baby👧! Is so cute together with game slot jokes.

What do you call a dino stripper?

A dinohore.

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

Why did the hooker quit her job?

She had a nut allergy.

BofA deez nuts!

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

I'm bored in class. Anyone wanna chat?

Who is Joe?

You reply back: Who is Candice?

They reply back: Who is Candice?

You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

What are you willing to write in your notebook? These nuts.

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.