Almond

Almond jokes

Vegan

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

Date

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

Nut

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

Memes

Almond memes

Nut

Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?

Thing 2: I don't know, what?

Thing 1: One gets hard faster.

Nazi

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

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    • Milk

    My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.

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    GENESIS 43 Joseph’s Brothers Return to Egypt 1Now the famine was severe in the land. 2And when they had eaten the grain that they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, “Go again, buy us a little food.” 3But Judah said to him, “The man solemnly warned us, saying, ‘You shall not see my face unless your brother is with you.’ 4If you will send our brother with us, we will go down and buy you food. 5But if yo… Read more

    GENESIS 30 1When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 3Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” 4So she gave… Read more

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