Number Jokes

Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!

Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Why did 7 kill 11?

Because now 7 was even.

Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers

didn't fall for number 6 7 and 5

The image lists "10 THINGS I KNOW ABOUT YOU" with a list of funny observations, and a minion looking surprised. The list reads: "1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter "P" without separating your lips. 4) You just tried to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are an idiot (but everyone else does it too, if that makes you feel any better). 10) You are going to repin this to see who else falls for it."

Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?

Add the "S."

Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?

Answer: Because they already ate.

Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.

The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"

Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."