What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.