Number

Number Jokes

Nude

What happens when you search nudes on my phone?

Nothing, I don't have any.

Roblox

When a person is thinking of a high number in Roblox

-smashes keyboard-

Miss Piggy

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

Weight

My "overweight" friend and I were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly, dude?

Me: *annoyed* Jason, when you stepped on the scale this morning, it asked for your weight, not your phone number.

Dick

If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

That number is how many dicks you suck.

Mexican

There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?

Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.

Calculator

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless.

Math

Why is 8 afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL

Problem

I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.