Now Jokes

Think of your favorite singer. Now. Go ask someone what is your favorite singer. My favorite singer is Halsey, BTS, . Now think about your least fave mine is oil London😵 this is my home now 1. What rhymes with oil put it in da chat. Bye weird people

My dad...came over late at night...he was drunk...he started telling me how useless I was...then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest 47 times......3 minutes later......he died........now I’m losing mind..and cutting myself....

Me: Hey Jim! Jim: I'm now a cannibal. Me: WAIT, JIM! N-

1.You can ́t wash you ́re eyes with soap 2.You can ́t count you ́re hair 3.You can ́t breathe through you nose with youre tongue out 4.You just tried number three 5.When u tried number 3 u realized it was possible only u look like a dog 6.Youre smileing right now because you relized you were fooloed 7.you skipped number 5 8.you just checked if there was a number 5 9.This is not my joke all credit goes to steps

Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

This is a joke. laugh now or else.

Laila has 69 boobs but that is 222 many. One day she went on 51st street to meet Dr.X who 8 all her boobs and now she's boobless :) - 6922251 x 8 = 55378008 put the calculator upside down.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store acorns for winter so now I am dead" haha it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

My pensil sharpener broke so now my pensil is poinless.

If your reading this right now Then the jokes on you Because I'm right behind ya Mothafucka!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey

No Seriously

I'm right behind ya

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital, apparently the doctor said to the nurse you can discharge Mr Hawking now, so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

Said the man angered to his wife: Now stopp the dann suicide trys! Just look at the gasbill!?

I killed a Homeless dude now he's at funeral HOME 😭💔

I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheel chair now were playing rocket league

I was lip to lip yesterday and now I can't get the cum outta my mouth

Attention everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future but for now: Goodbye.

a fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly a physicist saw it and said thats not how law of conservation of mass works plot twist the fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong now the physicist doesnt have mass

TO GWEN AND FRESHFRY: Hi Gwen and fresh fry you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. you are the people who I look up to people r mean to us because i am adopted. thank you for all of your support!!!!!!

A B C D E F G. Gummy bears are chasing me one is red one one is blue.one is chewing up my shoe.now i'm running for my life because the red ones got a knife