Nothing jokes

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.

What did the fork say to the spoon?

Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!

What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:

Nothing, donkeys don't talk.

Me: It smells like good fam.

Friend: What's good fam?

Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?

I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.

Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!

What did the sea say to the sea?

Nothing, it just waved.

What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?

Nothing.

Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.

Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

Ethan

A bullet is like an arrow.

Nothing can stop it from going through your head.

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

What's the difference between milk and my dad?

Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.

What do you call a dog without legs?

Nothing, it won't come either way.

What did the homeless person get for Christmas?

- Nothing.

What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.

9/11 joke.

Jesus has had all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.

Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!

Being an absolute waste breathe of life, and of power!

Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?

A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.

Stop it, Superman is stupid, ugly, and nothing.

God help me, please!