Nothing jokes

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!

What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?

Absolutely nothing.

Me: It smells like good fam.

Friend: What's good fam?

Me: Nothing much, what about you fam?

What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:

Nothing, donkeys don't talk.

What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?

Absolutely nothing.

What did the fork say to the spoon?

Nothing, forks don’t speak, silly!

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.

What did the chicken say after he died? Nothing.

Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

Llama: What's your damn problem?

Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?

There's nothing worth shitting on.

I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.

Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!

Eeeeeeee

Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

...

You do realize that I said nothing, right?

Me: Exactly :)

What did the sea say to the sea?

Nothing, it just waved.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.

What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?

Nothing.

Mom clean your room Me no it’s my room and I don’t want to clean it Mom you are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter me Well I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now am I you are the Worst like why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter I’m not her OK I am not her so stop Mom do you know what I pushed you out of my hula 43 minutes do not make me hate you because guess what I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it Me bro