Nothing jokes

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

What did one pillow say to the other?

Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

I got nothing.

In the morning at 6:30 AM,

Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

Me: Trump & Biden.

Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

After school,

Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

"She looks at her clock."

Teacher: And now I am sewed.

What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?

Nothing, it was just plane.

What did the sunglasses say to the banana?

Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.

Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes and comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!

So I have been looking at all your jokes, and UHHHHHH has not been the nicest. I don't really love the words she is choosing, but I'm not going to let her get in my head. :)

So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D

Cool people: I can do anything.

Normal people: I can do nothing.

Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.

Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

Is it all right when there is nothing left?

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.

What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?

Bored games.

What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?

Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.

What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.