Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
Not Jokes
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Dad: What did you learn in school today?
Timmy: Not enough, I guess, 'cause I gotta go back tomorrow.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
