Knock Knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
"White people can't jump"...
"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
It must be not a good suicide story if you can tell it.
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes.. bro it's not that deep
Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself
To everyone saying "don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying". Do you think we have it easy?? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if its poisoned.
then the antidote becomes the most important
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
