Not jokes
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
I know its not a meme but i just wanted to share my art work,i drew this when i was 13
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he had no BODY to go with!
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?
His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.
*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*
Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.
LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!
Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.
Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?
You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?
Other: What's snoo?
You: Not much, how 'bout you?
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
I'm not completely useless....
I can be used as a bad example!
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
I want to run. I go Iran, because I RAN, not IRAN, because it’s an Iran joke about the country, not the movement.
What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.
John is not funny.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.