Not jokes

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.

Stephen Hawking is intelligent.

He is not as green as he is cabbage.

Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

Yo mama so stupid, you could not even be born because of her idioticness.

"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."

What do you call a house that isn't a house?

Not a house.

When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”

9: I am higher than you.

8: No, you're not!

(8 flips to his side)

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."

Kenya text: Guys, leave Gwen alone! Pls! It is not her fault...btw STOP AND GO TO ATHORE JOKES

How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

I do not know.

Also, not love everyone.

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!

What goes with chips?

Not your cheese.

Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.

Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?

Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Esteban.

Esteban who?

If you do not open the door, Esteban you!