Not jokes

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

You: Did you get the new snoo subscription?

Other: What's snoo?

You: Not much, how 'bout you?

My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.

What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"

What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?

Not getting the job at McDonald’s.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

Why can't two Chinese make a white baby?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?

Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.

Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.

Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"

James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"

Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?

These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!

You shall feel ashamed of yourself!

Take the L! - Losers

Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”

Depression jokes are like food... not every people get it.

Jokes are not funny.

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.