Not jokes
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
Why do orphans not play bingo?
Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
TJ GWEN just shut the hell up.
NOT A DATING WEBSITE
What do you say to a bully?
I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Knock knock? Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Not kangawho, kangaroo!
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"