Not jokes

Hi, I did not get your walk.

Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.

A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.

"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.

She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

I love not much.

What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?

“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”

What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"

Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.

What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?

Not getting the job at McDonald’s.

I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.

My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.

What can you catch, but not throw?

People who wannabe rich and famous rappers should always look at Tekashi 6ix9ine, and learn what not to do.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

When do you go at stop and stop when done?

I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.

Not so great way to find out you are adopted.

I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.