Not jokes
Why did the orphan have to go to public school? He could not be home-schooled.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.