Not jokes
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
Jokes are like food.
Not everyone gets it.
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?
Guilty or not guilty?
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.