Not jokes

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

What do you call a blind German?

A Nazi (not see).

There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?

Not sure, I just fly the drone.

What's the difference between a school in Pakistan and an Al Qaeda base?

Not too sure. I just fly the drone.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

Be smart, not stupid.

It's not a joke.

When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.

What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?

Not Z.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?

Because it's dead.

Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.

Well, I have nothing.

Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!