Not jokes
Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
Why can't orphans ever be criminals?
He is not wanted.
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!