I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
Q: What gun does Africa not have?
A: A water gun.
Q: What gun does Africa not have?
A: Water gun.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
Lilly's hairline was so fat that Charlene could not find it on Roblox.
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
