Not jokes
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, well not if it's poisoned.
Then the antidote becomes the most important.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.