Not jokes
Why is a group of Uchiha not called the Sharingang?
Why?
Because they're all Sharing... GONE :)
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.
Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
Me: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Me: Not your family.
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"
He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"
I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)