Nose jokes
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
I wear a nose on my forehead.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
What's the definition of disappointment?
Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?
Nose-less.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What is flatter than an Asian?
Their nose.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.