None jokes

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.

None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.

How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just like hanging in the dark.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, she was electrocuted.

Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.

Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.

What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?

None of them get picked.

We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

None of these jokes are close to funny! Btw, who the hell is Gwen?

What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?

It's none of your business!

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

None of these jokes are funny.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

What is everyone’s favorite class?

None, because people don’t like school.

Why is a nun called a nun?

'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)