None jokes

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.

I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.

How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

What do you call an orphan family? None existent.

How many cats are in the human body?

None, unless you're Asian.

There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.

There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

I weeee is?

Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.

You're really...

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"

Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

Like this.

What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?

There's none, they both don't age well.

I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.

How much pussy does a priest get? None.