I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.
I guess it was a bad delivery.
None Jokes
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
These aren't funny.
What do you call an orphan family? None existent.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
How many Sallys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, she was electrocuted.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.
