None jokes
Dfhbbfd.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
You're really...
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”
And vanished.
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
IAIAIICID
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.