None jokes
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!