How many white guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?
None. They hire me to do it.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
None of these are jokes... they're all facts!
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
