None Jokes

I get so many thing stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None you are both dead on the inside.

Man asking waitress, " Pardon me miss may I ask you about the menu please?" Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb? None. Feminists can't change anything.

A teacher asks a boy in her class "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think. Later, the boy asks the teacher "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says "The one sucking it." The boy says "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.

How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. ...just kidding- - none. They can't change anything.

How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they don't even got a home

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children? None. Neither can see their parents

Fat chicks be like “Am i fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty” like none bitch u elephant pretty 😭😭😭

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer...?

A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.

What songs do people with no arms listen to?? None cause they can’t press play

Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none they both go up in flames.

my eggs are just like my dad....none egg-istent

one day the teacher said "there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?" the teacher calls on lil johnny. "none" the teacher said ''no but try again'' lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said'' not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says "no the one with the ring but i like the way you think"

None of these are jokes... they're all facts...

Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!