Nice

Nice jokes

Atm

    • I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.

    Eyebrow

    • Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

    Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

    Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

  • 0

    • House

    • You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.

    Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.

  • 1

    • Birthday

    • People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.

    Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."

    Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."

    Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."

  • 4

    • Girlfriend

    • Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

    She’s so nice.

    Nice memes

    Emo kid

    • An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.

  • 1

    • Dwarf

    • It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

  • 0

    • Dad

    • Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

    Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

    Son: I hate you!

    Razor

    • Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

    Condom

    • Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"

    Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"

    Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."

    Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"

    Husband: "Gold, of course!"

    Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

  • 0

    • Guy

    • Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!

    Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3

    Crayon

    • This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

  • 2