News jokes

Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!

Plagiarism!

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

Kobe Bryant helicopter crash jokes daily.

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

New BBC Geordie police drama set in Honolulu.

Haway Five O.

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?

If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.

What do you call New York City?

A human zoo.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

What did Vegeta say to Bulma?

What?

Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.