News jokes

If George Floyd was in the new Little Mermaid: Under da knee Under da knee Counterfeit 20 Drugs I took plenty Now I can’t breathe

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho... Alaska!

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Osama bin Laden

Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!

The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

Did you hear about the new doggy condos?

Apparently they are now releasing!

Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!

Plagiarism!

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

Kobe Bryant helicopter crash jokes daily.

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

What is the similarity between an orphan and the new Spider-Man movie, "There's No Way Home"?

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."