News jokes

If you get a new bed, you have more bedroom, but less bedroom.

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

Kobe Bryant helicopter crash jokes daily.

New BBC Geordie police drama set in Honolulu.

Haway Five O.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.

He never came back the next day, says the local news.

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!

New groupchat??

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

Hi, I'm new here.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

Osama bin Laden

Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho... Alaska!