News Jokes

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!

New groupchat??

hmmm

A black cat with wide eyes looks to the right, beside it there is a black toy with two yellow circles for eyes. The text says "Not sure if my cat likes his new toy..."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your presence, my love, Every moment feels new.

Hi, I'm new here.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?

There was a new texture pack.

ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.

Head and Shoulders!

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

Osama bin Laden

Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!

If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?

Idaho... Alaska!

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.

The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?