I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessiβs UberEats career. In the trailer Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
I would I new life but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope i'll get hit by a car. am not dead yet, i hope i'll die. I hope i'll born to a new hole life.
Dulux have created a new type of paint its called Sue Grey it covers up everything.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
The come with an Elon Musk.
He he that's mj pronouns 23 is Micheal Jordans Fake news is trumps
So my mom looked in the mirror today and we need a new one
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.
'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.
And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'
To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'
To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'
What do you call New York City? A human Zoo
New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: sad
Teacher: anyway Is anyone missing.
Students: Your Parents
Good news people michael jackson is still alive, they found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but there family died
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company. Probably top. Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
What's different between you and me I have a plan for this new year. So long suckers. Keep scrolling.
Heard about the new event in Africa? Called hunger games
