Newness jokes

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"

Person 2: "What is it?"

Person 1: "Plagiarism!"

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

What do you call New York City?

A human zoo.

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump

I have a new joke.

My life. Wait... jokes are supposed to have meaning.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

What did Vegeta say to Bulma?

What?

Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Did you hear about the new doggy condos?

Apparently they are now releasing!

Osama bin Laden

Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!

Why did Anne cross the road?

To get a new head ;)

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?

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And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*