Worst Jokes Ever
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.
Your hairline is so bad even Ariana Grande stopped singing because of it.
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
What an upside to being an orphan!
There's things called family-size bags.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.