New Jokes - Page 471 - Worst Jokes Ever

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.

Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.

What is white with red all over?...

JFK.

Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

Gvvvvvvvuhhgh.

You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!

You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.

A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.

The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. Their names were Johony and Papa.

All of the sudden, Johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”