Worst Jokes Ever
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Jake: Can I go outside?
Mom: Did you clean your room?
Jake: No.
Mom: Then f*ck no.
Jake: Alright, bet.
(Brother named No)
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.
What is Uranus' favorite exercise? ... Hy knees.
Your forehead is so leaned back you can see the dinosaurs.
What do you call a straight orphan?
A no homeo.
Q: Why can't you tell 9/11 jokes in a comedy club?
A: They always crash and burn.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knife." "Knife, who?" "How are you still alive? I just stabbed you!"
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
What do Nemo and Emily's dad have in common? They both can't be found.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.