Worst Jokes Ever
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
Why did the Titanic cross the road?
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.