My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Stop with the 9/11 jokes, people. They're just not gonna fly.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but they always crash and burn.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
