You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
Worst Jokes Ever
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: ______
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Basically, the Twin Towers are Angry Birds but in real life.
What is BK but gay?
Bgay.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
Your mom's hot.
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!
