Worst Jokes Ever
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...
The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.
When people ask my age, this is what I do.
“🥱 I DON’T CARE.... ÆAHAHAHAHAHAÆAAÆ!”
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
Batman on gender equality: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/I36ypJEyYpo
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!”
The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.