Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
A PDF file.
Stop bullying orphans!
What if they tell their parents?
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
I never get off on the wrong foot.
I left my Avatar at home today.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
What is the definition of fellatio?
Auto masturbation.
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
