Worst Jokes Ever

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?

It had nine shots and seven chasers!

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.

To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.

Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.

Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!

Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

Me going to jail after telling the orphan he can't learn about ancient Egypt because he don't know what a mummy is.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

Let's hope the new tower doesn't go plane watching like the old ones.

North Tower: "Hey, South Tower, we can talk later; I gotta catch a plane!"

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?

I'm ta ping it, some ting won.

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

Why are Indians such good actors?

Most of them are phone scammers.

After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

What is the world's strongest material?

The tree that Paul Walker hit.