Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Worst Jokes Ever
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A milkshake.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
Your hairline is like Mr. Clean's... nonexistent!
Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.
Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What's the similarity between my son and a rug from eBay? I asked for a refund.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
Yo mama's so fat, when she walked by the TV when I was watching a show, I waited, and when she finally passed by, Netflix said suggestions: Hulu, and Peacock.
