Worst Jokes Ever

Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.

Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

What did Kobe say to the helicopter?

"Don't crash!"

Kobe: "Don't crash!"

Helicopter: *Crashes*

How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

How do you blind an Irish woman?

You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.

What is the definition of confusion?

Three blind lesbians in a fish market.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

What do you call a guy with no body and nose?

No body nose