Worst Jokes Ever
Your mama's so crazy, she cooks her chicken drumsticks in raspberries and milk.
Your mama's so crazy, she thought Mike Tyson had some boots and cats up his sleeve.
Slept in my Rocky Horror T-shirt, woke up and seen blue skies through the tears in my eyes.
Why do Chinese people need glasses to see better?
All they need to do is open their eyes.
Why do dictators always eat without leaving anything on the plate?
Because they can't leave a piece (peace).
Why is Ireland so gay?
Because the Brits stole all their women.
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
All these Avengers and you're still marvellous.
A Liverpool fan walks into a bar and holds onto the furniture because they feel unsteady...
"You'll never walk alone!"
All these showstoppers and technical challenges and I still can't get your signature.
All these bows and arrows and I'd still give more of Jeremy Renner's work a shot.
All this Little Shop of Horrors merchandise and I still want to see more.
All these wraps and you still can't beatbox.
I just bought two new biro pens.
One is light blue with hints of purple and another is green with hints of white.
They're filled with monster's ink.
What's a darts player's favorite drink? One hundred and eight-tea!
I asked a librarian if they had a section with Rocky Horror books.
She said: "Sure, just take a jump to the left and then a step to the right."
It was 5:00 PM and I asked my sibling: "Can I have something to eat?"
He replied: "No, not until you tell me the alphabet."
So I said: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, X, Y, Z."
Then my sibling asked me: "Where's the T?"
I replied: "It's in the microwave, you just need to dish it up."
I tried to make a necrophilia joke, but it was dead in the water.
What is the best way to pick a woman at a bar?
Spike her drink with roofies
What did the gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
"Why is there so much shit in here?"