Worst Jokes Ever
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
Feminists should STFU and suck my dick!
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.
What do guns and women have in common?
They both get cocked and loaded.
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.