Worst Jokes Ever
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
Spanish folks must love Olaf because they say his name to me all the time.
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
Chuck Norris doesn't need protein bars. He just eats his own shit.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Down syndrome people are like dogs.
Prove me wrong.
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
What's the best part about duck tape?
It turns "No, no, no!" into "Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm!"
It makes it real easy to get to home base on that first date, too.