Worst Jokes Ever
Why was Hitler kicked out of the Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters?
He could never finish a race.
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.
Yo Momma so slutty she uses a SpaceX rocket as a dildo.
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
Why does everyone think Stephen Hawking is drunk?
Because he can't even walk.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
Why did Stephen Hawking get sacked from his job?
Because he was always rolling in late.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
What did Stephen Hawking say—I mean, type—when he saw a beautiful woman?
"That's the best shag I never had."
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
At least Stephen Hawking could go on a pub crawl.
Where was Stephen Hawking born?
Under a coconut tree.
Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.
Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
What do black people and sports cars have in common?
Getting a noise complaint for being so loud.