Worst Jokes Ever
Men should pay for dates because women have to pay for expensive things like makeup because God didn’t finish their faces.
How do you make sure a rape victim doesn’t testify against you?
Kill her first.
What is a woman?
A walking vagina who nags.
I've the biggest cock. Suck it.
What do you call a robot that feels like the opposite gender?
A transformer.
What's that thing that walks on two legs, washes dishes, sucks my cock, cooks, cleans, bends over for me and never fucking shuts up?
Femoids.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Mountain Dew was a real mountain.
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
What's the difference between Christianity and Scientology?
One is accepted as a cult by most people and the other has most people brainwashed.
What's the difference between a Christian and a schizophrenic?
Nothing.
What do you get when you combine Michael J. Fox and a cow?
A milkshake.
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
None, they both eat out.
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”
Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
I am proficient in many subjects including biology, sociology, scientology, and of course, idiotology. ☺️
What do iPhone batteries and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both go down quickly.
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣