"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
Worst Jokes Ever
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Remember kids.
Killing an AISH worker is a victimless crime.
Q. What's funnier than an AISH worker getting raped?
A. An AISH worker getting gang raped.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
Q: What did the AISH worker do on her lunch break? A: Five Guys.
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
If you can't afford a blow up doll, just go down to your local AISH office.
Rape is always unequivocally wrong.
Unless it's an AISH worker. Then you give her anal.
Q: What's the difference between Danielle Smith and a flying piece of shit? A: One letter.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
