Worst Jokes Ever
Why do leftists call their child Ariel?
So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Chuck Norris drove his parents to school.
Chuck Norris once won a race against Usain Bolt, running in the opposite direction around the track, blindfolded, on one foot.
What would you call a Spanish Notch?
El Notch-o.
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
My mom told me that her doctor told her personally that she had to keep herself isolated because she has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great ass.
Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?
Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
I'm racist.
I don't like green cars.
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What did the black kid say when he went to the confession booth?
"Daddy?"