Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.
What is harder than steel?
My cousin at the family reunion.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
14 girls asked me to go out today!
I was in the ladies' toilets...
How do you make an idiot say how?
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.