Worst Jokes Ever
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Two needles go to the river. One of them says, "I'm sorry!"
I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.
I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."
Plz like.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
White comedy week:
Monster Truck Monday
Trailer Park Tuesday
White Trash Wednesday
Take Your Sister Out Thursday
Fox News Friday
Storm the Capitol Saturday
Say You’re Sorry Sunday
Mexican Comedy Week
Margarita Monday Taco Tuesday Wetback Wednesday Tequila Thursday Fiesta Friday Shake It Saturday Sneaky Sunday
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.
What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?
Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
How do terrorists feed their babies?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
What is 6-inch long, in every men's pants or hands, and girls want?
- A smartphone, freak.