Worst Jokes Ever
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"
If being near immortal was a normal thing i bet wanting to die wouuld've been too
Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use
Why did the suicidal person cross the road?
To slow down traffic!
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.