Worst Jokes Ever
“Which tool,” Andrea Bocelli asks Chris Doemges, “fits best in the mailbox?”
Doemges: “Probably the flathead screwdriver!”
Joe Rogan to Christopher Doemges: "What can you tell me about musicians of the 18th century?" Doemges: "They're all dead already!"
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
Who do the United States owe trillions of dollars to?
Jew-piter.
Why can't Asians golf?
Because they can't drive.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.
Who are the fastest readers?
The pilots on 9/11. They went through six stories in 5 seconds.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."