Worst Jokes Ever

What happens when a Jewish guy walks into a wall with a full erection?

He breaks his nose.

Yo momma's an ICE agent!

Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?

A. To organize his thots.

You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.

How do tourists feed their kids?

Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.

Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"

My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.

The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!

What is the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?

About 140 calories.

What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?

"Good Lord, this is fun!"

How do you stun a Scotsman?

Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".

Yo cuando no hago la tarea.

Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.

Kid 1: "It's a bird!"

Kid 2: "It's a plane!"

Me: "It's a terrorist!"

What do birds and planes have in common?

They both fly into building windows.

Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.

What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?

"We’ve got a runner!"

Julius Caesar & Tork Poettschke at the doctor's office:

"The doctor has now sent me the bill."

"Make him aware of his duty of confidentiality!"

Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.

"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"

"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"

Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.

One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."

"How many men does your wife have?"