Worst Jokes Ever
Guys, someone told me to describe my ex as a shop. Boi, he's not a shop! I found him at the lost and found. But if he was one, he'd be the drugstore.
If I'm dying and you ask me what's my type, I will say Karl Jacobs. Then my monitor will start beeping and y'all will get dragged out screaming, "YOUR BLOOD TYPEEEE!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why is one brain cell kinda like finding your dad?
Because there's a one in a billion chance of finding them.
What do Ethiopians and castanets have in common?
They go "Click click" "Clack clack".
What's a skeleton's favorite movie?
Indiana Bones.
My wife caught me touching myself to an optical illusion. And I said, "Honey, it's not what it looks like."
You're so anorexic that you'd beat an Ethiopian villager in a beauty contest.
How many cops does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, they’ll just beat the Black out of the room.
You're so sad that you make the Great Depression look like a better time period to live in.
What's black and doesn't work?
A filthy porch monkey at the zoo.
I went up to a dude with no arms, pulled out my speaker, and started playing "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands".
Have you heard of the foundation called Autism Speaks?
No, it screeches.
This is for all of the men.
What do you call a penis that disappears? A Magic Johnson.
How do you make a pool table laugh?
You tickle its balls.
Q: What do you call a group of kids with Down's Syndrome?
A: Chromie homies.
What's a Genie's favorite drink?
Wishkey.
Like whiskey.
Why are USA people bad at Clash Royale?
They lost two towers.
Sometimes presidents lose their minds as they get older into their presidency. A good example of this is JFK. He lost his mind everywhere.
Why was the 19th Amendment a major mistake?
Because it gave women the ability to dodge accountability.