Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: What is your name? Me: Written in the stars.
Teacher: Where? Me: A million miles away.
Teacher: What are you talking about? Me: A message to the main.
Teacher: You must change your behavior! Me: Seasons come and go, but I will never change.
Teacher: Go to the school principal NOW! Me: And I'm on my way.
Why do transgender people have high rates of suicide?
Because they can't accept themselves for who they are, but they want everyone else to accept them.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7’s a cunt.
My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.
But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.
Why do orphans hate the letter F?
Because the F stands for the family that didn't want them.
A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"
The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.
"Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"
"I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."
Being gay is the most masculine thing that is possible because only men can be gay.
Yo mama is so fat.
When the 🌞 retired, she was eligible to take its place.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Why are female pornstars like Krispy Kreme donuts?
Because they get glazed on both sides.
Jesus is gay, and God is transgender.
He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"
She: "How can I resolve this?"
He: "Get a Cancer!"
What was the last thing going through the 9/11 victims' minds?
They don't say "shit for brains" for nothing. 🤣🤣
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
Two Arabs are swapping jokes. One cracks up and yells, "Man, that joke was an absolute blast!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Now why was 10 afraid? Because it was in the middle of 9-11.
Oh, you need a lesbian joke?
Uhh... gimme a second....
Me???
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
I really slapped my pants at school today. This is normal, because boys also have their period.