If it does more than pee, it's too old for me!
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
I'd tell a Luigi joke but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. what do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head? A. An ambulance.
Incest. When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
Q .What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO? A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.
Life's full of ups and downs :D <3
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
