Worst Jokes Ever
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Why can't Americans play chess? They have no towers.